Throughout the annals (or anals depending on the scene) of time, there have always been snobs, or as the kids say “haters”. Snobs believe that their choice in something is superior than the choices of others. Some of them are correct, such as those that believe the Mac is superior to the PC. Others, are plain and simple dumb dumb idiots. Case in Point: Beer snobs.

Every group of friends has one. The person who says that “this stout pairs great with this artisan pizza” or “this IPA is so rich in flavor, I really love drinking it when I’m considering doing something with my life and end up blowing myself instead.” For this example, the phrase of blowing one’s self is a neutral term.

TO QUOTE THE PROPHET: “Don’t try to church it up dirt.”

Craft beer people are the fucking worst, plain and simple. These sonsabitches parade themselves around like they’re better than everyone else because they drink shitty, overpriced bullshit. They look down on you for slugging Natty Lights. Whenever you want to get day drunk at an Applebees on a Wednesday, they sit at the bar and say “Do you have any local brews on tap?”. Simply the fucking worst. Shut up Randy and order a Bud Light.

Nobody drinks because they enjoy their lives, people drink for the same reason they go to the movies, because for several hours (or in my case the better part of a decade), you get to forget your shitty life and pretend you’re an astronaut.

IN SUMMATION, if you want to pay $8.50 for 8oz’s of thick piss, by all means support the local economy. If you want to be a normie, black out at an Applebees on a Wednesday.

 

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