Here we go – top 5 bad ideas that probably won’t result in death but you can’t really be sure until you’ve tried it:

1.) Mistaking Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder for regular Gold Bond Body Powder and putting it….down there.

2.) Going to Australia.

3.) Unprotected sex with a Kenyan hooker (it was one time, and I was young).

4.) Asking your wife if she’s sure she followed the recipe.

5.) Fighting Zdeno Chara.

Patrick Maroon, bless his heart. He tried, he really did. I don’t know WHY he tried, but hey – sporting effort.

I know Chara isn’t the most accomplished fighter. As the Captain it’s not really his job, and plus – his mere presence is often intimidating enough to keep the other team on the straight and narrow. Ask Zach Smith:

It’s always a great time when Big Z does decide to drop them though, because it genuinely looks like hes enjoying himself out there. As for me? I’ll take my chances with the hookers.

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