THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT, OR PAID POST. I AM NOT RECEIVING SHIT FOR WRITING THIS.
(Though if Sideline Swap WANTS to hook me up – 85 flex, RH, mid-toe curve. No grip.)
As I’ve mentioned before I’m a bit addicted to Sideline Swap. I don’t always buy something – but as the great late 90’s ska/punk band Goldfinger sang – “It’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase.”
I’m pretty sure that was them. Whatever. Anyyyyyyyways.
Being addicted to the site, I spend a lot of time looking around trying to find a great deal. There have been many days where I’ve spent a not insignificant amount of time imagining if I really would look cool in a mirrored half visor (judges ruling? I would). Or if some Bauer 1S’s would give me that extra giddy-up old age has taken from me (nothing will bring back the feeling of innocence, though).
Today. I came across something amazing. Something so cool I absolutely HAD to write about it.
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHIT. LOOK AT IT.
STAR FUCKING WARS HOCKEY SOCKS.
THE BATTLE OF HOTH.
And then I noticed the price.
ONE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS?
Listen, I don’t spend nearly as much time on my knees as most of your mothers do, but I know that hockey socks don’t last forever. And yea. These things are fucking cool. But $100 cool? No fucking way. That is fucking Monopoly Man money.
And of course. OF COURSE the guy selling them is a Capitals fan. Have you ever been to DC? I live here. A Burger King 4 for 4 deal is 4 french fries for four blowjobs. I think. That’s what the guy told me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe one of you guys can buy the socks. That would be cool, right?