Hockey players work their whole lives for one thing: From 3 years old, all they dream about is winning the Stanley Cup. Early mornings, gym twice a day, shooting 500 pucks a night for YEARS just to make the local junior team. Then it’s clean eating, staying late at practice, and outworking every single fucker in your league to get a shot at being drafted. If you’re lucky. And that’s the easy part.
Then you’re the best of 60 other guys in training camp, just so coach will even look at your scrawny, hairless ass, and give you a few shifts on the 4th line every couple of games.
If you even get a shot on a team, and prove yourself, there’s 30 other teams just like yours. And your squad has to be the best of the bunch. Play well at the right time, win 4 GRUELLING rounds against the best teams in the league, get all the right bounces, and if you’re REALLY fucking lucky, you’ll get a chance to lift Lord Stanley’s Cup.
Here it is: The moment you’ve been waiting your whole life for. This. Is. Incredible.
Every minute in the gym, every puck shot at your parents’ garage door has come to this. Everything. The best feeling of your life. Nothing could ruin this moment as you skate around the ice with your boys flaunting the Cup above your head. Nothing could distract you as you watch your captain lifti… Holy shit is that boobs!? HOLY FUCK BOYS CHECK OUT THAT RACK!!! WOW! BEEEEAUTYYYY BOYS THAT’S FUCKIN BEEAAAUTTTYYYY, WOO!!!!
Turns out that this lady thought that one cup wasn’t enough to satisfy the boys, so she gave them two more. She was right… Thanks boobie lady. #FERDA