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I have a twitter. I enjoy twitter. It gives me something to do at work between actually doing work. I also have it so that I can follow sports news and make my innermost thoughts personal (primarily the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is the single greatest film in the history of cinema).

If you have a twitter, you have undoubtedly seen this man:

This is John Legere, CEO of T-Mobile and middle-aged Batman cosplayer. T-Mobile, for those of you who don’t know, is the mobile company that hasn’t been relevant since they had this little gem of modern technological marvel


(The T-Mobile Sidekick LX was like sex, but I got it in high school)

So T-Mobile may have a great business model, I’m sure they have better reception than AT&T because Donald Trump walking into Harlem would have better reception. Sprint isn’t a cell phone company that actually exists, you just see commercials for it, and Verizon is the New England Patriots of cell service. So at best, T-Mobile is the second best wireless carrier. And like any number two, they try hard to get out from behind number one. Sometimes they try too hard and you end up with a CEO who pays to sponsor these tweets:

The one about “dropping a wide open pass in the end zone” reminds me of something your stepdad would say to you on Sunday during football despite not knowing anything about the sport. Do you like sportsball? Then follow me! These are all absolutely fucking cringe-worthy.

And can we talk about this guys hair?

This is the CEO of a fucking company and he looks like this. John Legere is a living version of the “How do you do fellow kids?” meme.

He might be a good person, he might be the second coming of Buffalo Bill. This picture makes me think it’s closer to the later. But one thing is for sure, this dude is the fucking worst and my opinion won’t be changed until he brings back the Sidekick. You have my demands you long-haired, magenta wearing mother fucker.

POSTSCRIPT: why would anyone want to be Batman? His parents are dead, he has no friends except a small child without any legal adult supervision and he’s clearly so bad of a person that nobody wants to play him in movies. Fuck it, make this magenta man the morose  caped crusader