This week was a little more competitive than week one’s matchup. I felt a little more under pressure than I had the game prior but I didn’t expect things to be easy. As a whole, we have a really bad habit of playing a really good game one week and coming out super flat and stinking it up the next. This week’s game had a little bit of that for about 2 whole periods and then they boys got things rolling and I felt pretty locked in for the third. Well that, and I took a huge sniff of an ammonia inhalant we had on the bench and I felt like I could run through a wall haha. But I’ll get to that later!

First thing’s first, for those that didn’t catch week one’s edition of “KUWLM”, these posts are brief recaps of games my beer league team, Los Machetes, plays on a weekly basis. I try and do my best to tell things through my eyes as the team’s goaltender.

Now let’s get into it!

Period 1

Unlike our first game, things got off to a really slow start. Both team had a few shots here and there, pucks were iced. I pretty much stood for most of the first as the pre workout I took slowly started to fade. I frankly don’t remember much happening aside from almost being taken out by this dude who came flying in on an icing call. I’m all for skating hard and making it interesting but for god sakes, if you can’t stop please know your limits on how fast you come into the zone. Dude clipped my blocker going by and next thing you know this dude just ate it, face first into the boards. Period ends, 0-0; teams are sitting at 4 shots a piece.

Period 2

So I’m still really salty about this part of the game for a number of reasons, but before I explain my salt I need to provide some context. We have this guy named Francis on our team. The dude is a living legend and his jersey number will probably the first that we retire because it’s the right thing to do… He’s the drunk teammate that walks around half naked.

So Francis had gone to the bar before this game and got super loaded. He almost fell taking his first step on the ice, then fell after coasting about 5 or so feet. Dude was wasted. So we go up a goal and I’m starting to think to myself that we’re doing good, there’s not a whole lot of time left in the period. All I have to do is last this period and we’re back in the end I like playing. I have this weird stage fright I guess you can call it(?) when we’re playing in the home end of the rink. The way the back rink we play on at Icetown is laid out is a tad funky. The stands can see the entire rink but you have to turn your head in the away end just slightly. For whatever reason, I’ve always felt I play better in that end because I’m not in direct view of the crowd. So being this close to going back to my favorite end is a big deal. And because the hockey gods have a sick sense of humor, they score with about 2 minutes to play in the period.

Part of me wanted to be more mad that it was with 2 minutes left but it banked off my pad while I was trying to seal my post and went in off myself. Those always rattle me because it’s such an easy spot to cover, especially when the shot is coming almost directly at me. But hey, shitty goals are gonna happen. I get to bench and everyone is like ” Hey Jake, Francis jinxed you. He said you were playing really well… and then they scored.” Now I haven’t heard officially if he said the “S” word but the thought of “of course the guys who’s trashed and doesn’t know what he’s saying ,would be the one to say it” definitely crossed my mind. I was a little fired up after that softie so I sniffed a little bit of an ammonia strip we had on the bench and that got me going. After two periods we’re tied at 1.

Period 3

So besides us tacking on 3 more that’d eventually close out the scoring for the game, we had a pretty normal period of Machetes hockey. Goals, a few breakaways I had to stop, and a whole lot of penalties. We’re not the best at controlling our sticks so our guys take a lot of penalties, but frankly there was one or two that were kinda questionable. I give the refs the benefit of the doubt because they do have to enforce rules but it’s the rookie division… There’s gonna be contact and shit’s just gonna happen because not everyone knows what the hell they’re doing. Not much happened after our last kill aside from a really nice toe save I made while way out of position. Los Machetes take the game by a score of 4-1 and win consecutive games for the first time ever!

Week 2 Final Score: Los Machetes 4, Wolfpack 1