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Hockey is expensive, if you didn’t realize that you’re either the guy who pays his league fee before the first game or lived a very privileged life thus far. We all know that it takes a pretty good beating on your wallet to play beer league pretty much anywhere, but beer leaguers…COME ON! Speaking as a team GM nothing drives us more crazy than players who try to dodge paying their fees all season (except maybe a tendy calling out last-minute…thats fucked).

Now I can understand a fresh newborn beer league player having a bit of a problem getting funding together to start playing for an established team or even being a part of a new team. There’s equipment, jerseys, league fees, beer kitty, it’s a lot. And GM’s usually take pity on the new guy and give him some leeway. But then there is the guy/gal (every team has one) that has an excuse every week of every season of every year they’re on the team. “I’ll get it next game I swear,” “forgot my wallet,” “waiting for payday,” “bought a llama for the kids,” “just paid for my wife’s yodeling lessons,” “husband wants a real doll for his birthday”…ITS ALL CRAP!

How hard is it to put away 50$ every paycheck during your current season to pay for the next? If you’re that hard up for money and you just cant let the llama go maybe you should sit out and be a sub…OH WAIT you never remember to bring cash for sub fees either! Players like these are a cancer for a team. Other players start to ask for extensions, citing the guy who never pays as their reason they should be able to pay late. This all snowballs into emails from the rink saying you’re a couple thousand in the hole and your team will forfeit if you don’t pay up. What does a good GM do? Some will cover the balance on their own dime and chase guys down for the money (never guaranteed to work). Some will just let the team fold (quitters). Me? What do I do? I’m glad you asked…My rule, you pay first game or I replace you. If I know you well and you come to me privately needing an extra week I may say ok. But otherwise you’re expected to pay, I’ll roster a bent ankle duster who pays upfront over a fee dodging nutsack ANY DAY!!

And goalies! Don’t think I forgot about you…if your team is nice enough to divvy up your fee among themselves GREAT. But to you loads that feel you shouldn’t have to pay because “goalie gear is so expensive” suck it up cupcake, HOCKEY is expensive. You knew your position was the most expensive in all of team sports and you still stayed with it. Therefore you have no legpad to stand on in the “play for free” argument (see what I did there tendies?). Pay the money like everyone else ya neurotic bag of therapy sessions.

Closing remarks: It isn’t fair to the GM that’s putting your team together who already feels like they are herding cats trying to organize you giant toddlers to show up and have matching jerseys and all the necessary things your local league requires to play. Only to have you to make their life even harder by being a cheap asshole. Plain and simple it’s a jacked off move and it disrespects your GM and your teammates. SO PAY UP!!!!

Slainte’ Beer Leaguer’s

BLT Goalie Brian