Sports Ranked by Toughness

by @Nickerjones

Watching the Stanley Cup finals got me to thinking about what sport had the toughest athletes. Hockey is obviously a no brainer right? But what about all the other sports that aren’t near as entertaining or as tough as hockey. I’m a few cold ones deep and tired of getting obliterated by 14 year olds at fortnite so don’t @ me because I dissed your not tough sport.

1. Hockey

NHL’s premiere goal scorer just took a puck to the face the other night while he was just sitting around on the bench minding his own business.  That puck was probably going 10000 MPH. Just shrugged it off and jumped on the ice for his next shift. No Big Deal

Oh yeah and they fight….. like bare fisted knuckles while moving around on butter knives on frozen water. And the hockey players who fight fucking love it. They love it so much they usually hug the dude they fight afterwards and plan their next fight. Tough SOB’s.


It’s no surprise that football is full of tough dudes. The players throw themselves around the field at each other like human missiles. The hits that some of these dudes take and then continue to play is insane. Football players for sure are tough as shit.


Most people think baseball is a kids game so the players can’ be tough. Wrong…  These men are throwing around a hard object at each other at over 100MPH and colliding with walls & each other at full speed. Sure occasionally a pitcher can’t throw because he has a blister but still come on. Even the coaches are tough. 90 year old dudes are still running out and taking bombs to the face when the benches clear. Where else are you going to see that? You be the judge.

4. Every Other Sport

You know…. Darts, Swimming, Birdwatching, Knitting. 

5. Basketball

Yes basketball players are talented. Most people can’t do that they do but just look at this. How can you call yourself a pro at anything when this is how you conduct yourself? Zero toughness in this sport…. Zero cool.

6. Soccer

Is soccer even a sport? All you do is jog around, kick a ball, fall down, and try to get a ref to pull a colored piece of construction paper from his pocket. How do so many people watch this? They even have a cute little name for their not tough sport… footy. Fucking FOOTY? How can playing footy be considered tough. Look at these “tough” footy ballers being so tough: